Prepare to be Enslaved
Crushing the Galaxy, one planet at a time…
GREETINGS PUNY MORTALS! COWER BEFORE ME, FOR I AM SUPREME EMPEROR THARGON THE DESTRUCTOR, AND I SHALL CRUSH YOU LIKE THE INSIGNIFICANT CREATURES THAT YOU ARE!!!
About Us
Keep All your Memories Alive
Our mission is to spread terror to every corner of the galaxy: enslaving, crushing, terrorising, enslaving, rending, enslaving… YES, I ALREADY MENTIONED THE ENSLAVING; WELL SPOTTED!! THERE IS GOING TO BE A LOT OF ENSLAVING, OK?!?!
Abandon hope and prepare to be ruthlessly conquered.
My horde of pitiless cephalopod shock troops are ready to annex your hapless planet to my empire, mercilessly suppressing any and all opposition with their superior military might, psychic brain probes, venomous beaks, writhing tentacles and crotchety bad tempers. You have been warned.
What We Can Offer
Enslavement
Ever fancied a career working in the slave mines of K^&hopik 7? Fighting to the death in the gladiator slave pits of P&*okraz Beta? Now is your chance!
Pillage
Kiss your possessions, your treasures and your resources goodbye as we remove them all from you. Forcibly.
Mind control
Troubled by the stress of exercising free will? Tired of making hard decisions? We have the answer, as our psychic brain probing will remove any vestige of self-determination.
I don’t know why you are still reading this. Shouldn’t you be making out your wills, or farewelling your loved ones, or resigning yourselves to your fates, or something?
Additional Services
- Wanton destruction
- Clammy tentacles
- Complete collapse of civilisation
- Increased wait times for public transport
